Posted by Bt @ 10:47 AM

Since friday when dk said "you will find out on monday.", I have been fucking paranoid.
Usually during weekends, I sleep like a pig until 12 or 1.
Then during this whole weekend i sleep at 5am and wake up at 10am.
My life is very screwed now.
I don't blame anyone for it, just feeling very fucked up.
My mother feels that i am a burden to her and men are jerks.
So?
Does this condemn me to the fact that I have to be treated by her in a different way?
I started to have my own thinking when I reached P5.
How come I'm in the best class of my cohort and my mother is still unhappy.
Then I finally realised that whatever I do will never be enough to satisfy my mother.
She wants someone whom she can show off to people about and not some failure like me.
Why must I follow the life depicted for me in your mind?
If I don't follow the path, I am labelled as a failure.
If I take the path, I will just be another one of the mindless zombie workforce that is out there.
Why am I not afraid of dk's caning but afraid of him calling my mother?
WHY?